I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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