belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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