So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
