This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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