I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
