he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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