I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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