then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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