He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
