Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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