can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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