i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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