I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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