we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Can I color on your dick again?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
