just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
