I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize