No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
