why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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