Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
