Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
