guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
ttyl tear gas
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
