im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
