i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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