Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
