There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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