i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
