At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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