This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
