nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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