Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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