I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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