Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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