it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
