Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize