She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
