I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
