Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
