sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
