On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
