My nipple is on Facebook.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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