im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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