is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My dick has a subreddit
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize