So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
