I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
