is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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