Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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