he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
