Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
