Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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