i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
