Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
