I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
