guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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