If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
