This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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