ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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