For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
