i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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