Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
