Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
