that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize