I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
