theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize