It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
