giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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