She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
