Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
