My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
