I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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