ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize