He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
